Mother's Day Reimagined

My full-grown babies.

Mother’s Day wasn’t always a joyous occasion for me. For years, I didn’t have a relationship with my mom. Even after I’d had children, my mother’s absence cast a shadow over the day. And on top of that, my unchecked and wild imagination conjured beyond-perfect images of family celebrations everywhere else.

I KNEW that everyone on earth was experiencing Mother’s Day in grand fashion. I envisioned households where all the “good moms” were given flowers—calla lilies or daisies— while contagious laughter abounded as everyone shared hilarious memories. There were numerous champagne toasts and long speeches about how incredible the honoree had been throughout her stellar life. And the presents! I pictured presents that looked professionally wrapped with bows as big as my head! There was always a cake resembling a wedding cake's top tier, wholly covered with delicate white icing flowers. More importantly, every heart was filled with unconditional love. LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! My imagination told me I was missing THAT!

When my mother and I finally rebuilt our relationship, long after I had my children, Mother’s Day didn’t live up to the one I’d imagined others having. Seriously, how could it?

Finally, it struck me:

1.     My imagination is completely overactive; perhaps I should have sought therapy for a much-needed reality check.

2.     No one, NOT ONE PERSON, experiences a flawless childhood.

3.     Every single mother on earth has made or will make mistakes.

4.     It’s true: Comparison is the thief of joy, particularly when an OVERactive imagination is in OVERdrive.

Thank God, we experienced a miracle, and my mother and I found our way back to each other before her passing in 2001. As our relationship strengthened, I realized how fiercely she loved me, which was, apparently, all I ever really needed.

When I celebrate with my full-grown babies this Sunday, I won’t yearn for some fantastical day. Instead, I will ensure that my sons feel my limitless love. Since I firmly believe that we receive what we give, I am confident that my special day will be exceptional! Oh, and champagne. There will definitely be champagne!

Cheers!